


The Pains of Body Switching

by pupeez4eva



Category: Super Junior
Genre: Bodyswap, Crack, Gen, Humor, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-21
Updated: 2014-07-21
Packaged: 2018-02-09 19:25:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1994994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pupeez4eva/pseuds/pupeez4eva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Siwon and Kyuhyun switch bodies, torment the other members, and basically ruin each other's lives.</p><p>...</p><p>“I mean, it’s so refreshing!” Siwon continued. “Do you know how exhausting it is always having to keep up with the perfect, goody-two-shoes persona? In this body, I can just screw around with whoever I want and not have to face the consequences!”</p><p>“...Siwon.”</p><p>The other male blinked. “Yes?”</p><p>Kyuhyun clenched his jaw. “I will have to face the consequences!”</p><p>This didn’t seem to bother Siwon too much. “You’re the evil maknae,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “People are used to you pulling stunts like this.”</p><p>“Not stunts that put Ryeowook in the goddamn hospital!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pains of Body Switching

 

“I’m you.”

 

Kyuhyun stared at Siwon for a long moment, before slowly nodding his head. “Yes.”

 

“...And you’re me.”

 

“...Yes.” 

 

“...Well.” Siwon let out an awkward laugh and rubbed the back of his neck, clearly at a loss for what to do. “How long do you think -”

 

“ - No clue.” Kyuhyun shrugged his shoulders.

 

“...Well.” Another awkward laugh. “This shouldn’t be too hard, right? I mean, I’ll just act like you, and you’ll just act like me, and before long, we’ll be back to normal...”

 

“...Yeah, I guess.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “How hard can being you be? I’ll just act all holy and -” He paused and thought for a moment. “...And holy...that’s pretty much all I have to do, right?”

 

Siwon stared at him, wondering if he was being insulted.

 

...

 

_‘...What the hell am I supposed to do?’_ Kyuhyun stared miserably at the wall in front of him, realizing that he honestly had no clue how to be Siwon. What? Was he supposed to pray or...?

 

Eunhyuk and Donghae entered the kitchen, conversing with each other, and Kyuhyun decided that praying was a good start.

 

He dropped to his knees, clapping his hands together.

 

“...Siwon,” Eunhyuk said, slowly. _“What_ are you doing?”

 

“Praying, of course!” Kyuhyun responded, cheerily.

 

“...On the kitchen floor?”

 

“A good Christian like me _always_ has time for my heavenly father,” Kyuhyun promptly responded. _‘That sounds pretty religious, right?’_

 

“Um...” Donghae let out an awkward cough. “...You _do_ realize that Ryeowook threw up there the other day, right?”

 

Kyuhyun stared at him.

 

“You know, he got all queasy after watching the Titanic -”

 

“Like I said,” Kyuhyun choked, forcing a smile onto his face, “I always have time!”

 

...

 

“Come on Siwon,” Siwon murmured to himself, a sharpie marker clutched in his hands. “It’s not too hard...come on...”

 

Dammit, who knew that being Kyuhyun was so _hard?!_ Siwon was an all-round nice guy - being evil just didn’t _work_ for him!

 

Hand shaking, Siwon forced the marker closer to the wall. After all, scribbling on the wall was evil right? Graffiti wasn’t a good thing! Right? _Right?_

 

“Oh god,” he moaned, jerking his hand away. “I can’t do this!”

 

...

 

“So Siwon,” the talk show host said, causing Kyuhyun to cringe; he’d been hoping that she wouldn’t direct any questions at him. “If you weren’t a singer, what do you think you would be be instead?”

 

“Uh...” What the _hell_ would Siwon say at a time like this? “...A priest?”

 

The host raised one eyebrow. “Really?”

 

“Yeah!” Kyuhyun let out a loud laugh, nodding his head with false enthusiasm. “Some of my best friends are priests after all!”

 

Leeteuk shot him a strange look. “Since when?”

 

“Well...” Kyuhyun shrugged. “I’m uh...I’m religious so...”

 

...

 

“Kyuhyun, are you alright?”

 

Siwon glanced up at Leeteuk and forced a smile onto his face. “Yeah, why?” he asked, nervously.

 

“I don’t know...” The leader frowned at him for a long moment, a thoughtful expression on his face. “You seem very...quiet lately...”

 

Siwon winced, realizing that he _really_ needed to up his game.

 

“Er yeah,” he coughed, “I uh...I’ve just been a bit...sick lately...”

 

Leeteuk frowned, concerned. “Do you need to see a doctor?”

 

“Wha - no!” Siwon shook his head rapidly. “It’s just...you know...diarrhea...”

 

Maybe saying the first thing that came to mind wasn’t the _best_ idea...

 

There was a moment of silence, in which Leeteuk awkwardly nodded his head, and, looking slightly disturbed, backed out of the room.

 

...

 

The first thing Leeteuk saw after leaving the room was Kyuhyun’s (or rather, Siwon’s) kneeling form.

 

“... _What_ are you doing?”

 

_‘And why the_ hell _do I lead this group...?’_

 

“I’m praying!” Kyuhyun responded, cheerfully.

 

“...For what?”

 

“Um...just...you know...” Kyuhyun looked around, hoping to see _something_ to use as a prompt - nothing. Absolutely _nothing._

 

Leeteuk sighed loudly and walked away.

 

...

 

An act of sheer evil: cruelty to animals.

 

Siwon gently tapped the shell of Yesung’s turtle with his foot, immediately dropping the animal to the floor, guilt over-taking him.

 

He knew he’d said that he’d up his game, but...was _this_ taking it too far?

 

Sighing, he repeated the action; he paused and did it again.

 

Hmm...this wasn’t _nearly_ as bad as he’d originally thought - it was strangely thrilling to be able to do such an evil act and know that if he were caught, it’d be Kyuhyun suffering the consequences.

 

Besides, it wasn’t as if he were actually hurting the turtle...

 

“What are you - _DDANGKOMA!”_

 

“...I’m just being my evil self,” Siwon informed a horrified Yesung, who had entered the room only a few moments prior. 

 

...

 

“Where the hell were you?!” 

 

Listening to his manager’s furious yells, Kyuhyun silently wondered if skipping dance practice had been the best idea; but then, he’d barely played any of his beloved computer games ever since this whole mess with Siwon had begun, so he’d decided to catch up on some serious gaming as soon as everyone was out of the house.

 

“Uh...”

 

“Well?!” Oh yes, his manager was _mad._

 

“...Religious immunity!”

 

There was a moment of silence.

 

“Oh lord no,” moaned Sungmin, who had been silently observing the ongoing events.

 

“Sungmin!” Kyuhyun admonished, deciding that his excuse, which had been thrown out as a split-second decision, actually wasn’t half bad.

 

“What?” Sungmin asked, slightly exasperated.

 

“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain! That’s ten Hail Mary’s for you!”

 

Sungmin shot him an irritated glare and walked out of the room (not before giving the manager a pitying glance on his way out).

 

“Siwon,” his manager growled, “what the _hell_ is wrong with you?! And what the hell does ‘religious immunity’ mean?!”

 

“I was at the church,” Kyuhyun responded, “giving confession.”

 

Oh yeah; he was the _king_ of quick responses. 

 

“For the past _three_ _hours?!”_

 

“Did you not hear me?” Kyuhyun placed his hands on his hips. _“Religious immunity!_ You can’t say anything because that would be _discrimination!”_ His manager stared at him. “...Against, you know, my religion...”

 

“...I just want to know what you had to confess for _three hours,”_ the manager finally managed to choke out.

 

“That’s a private matter between me and the big G,” Kyuhyun promptly responded.

 

His manager stared.

 

“God,” he added, in case the other man hadn’t understood him the first time.

 

“...Dear lord,” his manager finally muttered, “he has officially lost it.”

 

...

 

Siwon laughed hysterically as he scribbled across the wall, his eyes alight. God it just felt so... _free!_

 

_‘Siwon is a sexy beast,’_ he scribbled, a wide grin on his face. Wow, it felt so great not having to be the goody-two-shoes anymore -

 

He paused and added, in large words, _‘by Kyuhyun.’_ Just incase - after all, as much as he loved being evil as Kyuhyun, _he_ had a reputation to uphold.

 

...

 

“I just don’t understand how he could _do_ something like this!” Yesung wailed.

 

Kangin glanced at Leeteuk, clearly bewildered. “I just got here,” he said. “What the _hell_ is he on about?”

 

Leeteuk rubbed his forehead, exhaustion evident. “Kyuhyun kicked the turtle,” he muttered.

 

“...Oh.”

 

Leeteuk let out another sigh and allowed his body to fall backwards onto the couch. “Why didn’t I just let him stay quiet?” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

“Can turtles get internal damage?” Yesung demanded, adding to Leeteuk’s inner misery. “We don’t know how hard that kick was!”

 

“Hey,” Kangin said, choosing to ignore his hysterical bandmate. “Is it just me or is Siwon acting kind of strange lately?”

 

Kyuhyun (who, for all intents and purposes, appeared to be Siwon), who had been walking past the room at that precise moment, threw himself to the floor, his hands posed as if he were praying.

 

Leeteuk glanced at him, closed his eyes, and sighed loudly. “Just...don’t ask...”

 

...

 

“...Siwon.”

 

“Shh!” Siwon hissed, frantically looking around. “I’m Kyuhyun!”

 

Kyuhyun clenched his jaw. “There’s no one here but me!” he snapped. “Now, on to more pressing issues -” He took a deep breath. “ - why the _hell_ did you tie Ryeowook upside down from the roof?!”

 

“Kyu, I’m probably going to regret saying this later but - _wow!”_ Siwon let out a small sigh, his expression slightly glazed. “There are seriously times when I just _love_ being you!”

 

Kyuhyun stared at him.

 

“I mean, it’s so _refreshing!”_ Siwon continued. “Do you _know_ how exhausting it is always having to keep up with the perfect, goody-two-shoes persona? In this body, I can just screw around with whoever I want and not have to face the consequences!”

 

“...Siwon.”

 

The other male blinked. “Yes?”

 

Kyuhyun clenched his jaw. _“I_ will have to face the consequences!”

 

This didn’t seem to bother Siwon too much. “You’re the evil maknae,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “People are used to you pulling stunts like this.”

 

_“Not_ stunts that put Ryeowook in the goddamn _hospital!”_

 

Siwon stared at him for a long moment. “...Hospital?” he said at last.

 

_“Yes_ you absolute _idiot!”_ the maknae snapped, his eyes flashing. “The rope snapped and he _broke his freaking wrist!”_

 

“...Oh.”

 

_“The hyungs are going to slaughter me!”_ Kyuhyun let out a frustrated howl, yanking furiously on his hair. “Do you _know_ what a crying Ryeowook _does_ to a person’s rational thinking?!”

 

“...Can you not yank on my hair so hard?” Siwon asked, gazing worriedly at the positioning of Kyuhyun’s hands. “I’m a visual, I kind of need all my hair -”

 

Kyuhyun yanked harder, only stopping when he realized that he was developing a severe migraine.

 

...

 

“...Are you _washing Sungmin’s mouth with soap?!”_

 

“He used God’s name in vain,” Kyuhyun responded, continuing his actions. Okay, in all honesty, he really wasn’t even doing this as a means of keeping up the charade of being Siwon; he just really, _really_ missed being the evil maknae. Besides, compared to some of the things Siwon was doing, this really wasn’t that bad...

 

_“We have a recording session coming up!”_ Leeteuk shrieked.

 

“...So?”

 

“Swallowed - soap -” Sungmin choked.

 

Kyuhyun blinked at him, and then glanced at his fuming leader. “...Religious immunity?” 

 

...

 

“I think you’re overdoing it,” Kyuhyun told Siwon, who glanced at him, looking bewildered.

 

“What?”

 

“Me - I’m evil but not _that_ evil.”

 

Siwon stared at him for a long moment. “...You shoved soap into Sungmin’s mouth,” he said at last.

 

“Yes,” Kyuhyun agreed, “but he used God’s name in vain.”

 

“Kyuhyun,” Siwon sighed, “I’m not _that_ religious.”

 

Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. “Please, you aren’t even getting my personality down! You haven’t played a _single_ game since entering my body - I’m supposed to be Gamer Kyu for Christ’s sake!”

 

He then paused and, after a brief moment of deliberation, dropped to his knees.

 

Siwon clenched his jaw. “Kyuhyun -”

 

“I’m asking for forgiveness for using God’s name in -”

 

_“You’re overdoing it!”_

 

...

 

“You know,” Kyuhyun sighed, “when I said that you needed to play more games, I didn’t mean you needed to play until the power cut off.”

 

...

 

“You know,” Siwon growled, “when I told you to stop overdoing it, I didn’t mean start saying ‘goddammit’ after every other word! Especially not in a _goddamn talk show!”_

 

“Uh...” Kyuhyun blinked. “You -”

 

_“I know goddammit!”_

 

_..._

 

“Is it just me or is there something seriously wrong with Kyuhyun and Siwon lately?” Shindong mused.

 

“Don’t ask,” Leeteuk responded.

 

Shindong frowned. “But -”

 

“Seriously,” the leader said, cutting him off. “Don’t. Ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> ...Pure randomness that, while reading, you are probably going to wonder why the HELL I wrote. But...eh. Hopefully you enjoyed this a BIT...maybe? Maaaybe? *puppy dog face*


End file.
